The Harsh Reality Of Broken Trust
by MissingMommy
Summary: "Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer" – Oscar Wilde :: In which Sirius Black is forgiven, and Remus Lupin learns that reality crushes all dreams. :: WolfStar, for Ali.


For the Cluedo Comp with the suspect: Remus/Sirius, the weapon: "society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer" – Oscar Wilde, and the location: Black Lake.

For Camp Potter – first aid with the mandatory prompts of broken hourglass, "you never know what you have until it's gone", and rain.

For Ali (oswins). I'm so sorry that this is late, love. My muse just hasn't wanted to let me really write. I hope you enjoy!

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_Society often forgives the criminal_

Sirius sits with his back against the willow tree, glancing out across the vast Black Lake. He puts the cigarette to his lips and inhales deeply. He feels the familiar burn of smoke fill his lungs, holds it there as long as possible before he releases it in the air. It's something to concentrate on.

Out here, watching the waves crash against the ground, inhaling smoke, he isn't reminded that James hasn't looked in his direction and Remus hasn't spoken to him in sixty-eight days. Sixty-eight days since he proved to be nothing more than his last name. It has been pure agony with his best friends ignoring him, though he knows, deep down, that he deserves it.

The sound of footsteps brings Sirius out of his thoughts. He glances up, meeting dark green eyes. He motions for Remus to take a seat next to him, turning his attention back to the water and stubbing out his cigarette because he knows that Remus doesn't like it when he smokes. Tension cuts through the silence easily, causing Sirius to feel a little uneasy. He isn't sure what Remus is doing here.

"I'm sorry, you know," Sirius whispers because this is the closest Remus has been in weeks. "And I know I've said that a lot recently, but I really am. There's really no excuse for what I did, only that I was doing what I do best – speaking before thinking it through. I know that I can't make up for what I did, Remus. But I truly am sorry."

He rambles because Remus is sitting next to him, and he doesn't care if Remus is really listening or not. He's been trying to say these words for weeks, but he only got as far as "I'm sorry" before Remus walked away, telling him that he needed time.

"I know you are," Remus says finally. His tone is soft and gentle, like it usually is when he's talking to Sirius, and Sirius didn't realize how much he missed it. "But Sirius, I trusted you, and you broke that." Remus turns Sirius' face to meet his eyes. "And I've been trying to figure out how to trust you again. But I'm not anywhere closer to the answer than I was when this first happened."

Sirius attempts to reassure Remus that something like this will never happen again, but Remus cuts across him. "You can promise me that you will never lose your temper like that again; you can promise that you will never tell my secret. But now, there will always be that doubt in me. And I don't want that because it's going to harm us, harm our friendship. I want to trust you, Sirius. I just don't know how."

He glances down, because he knows that Remus has every right to doubt him. Trust is like an hourglass; it goes back and forth easily, but once it's broken, there's nothing that can repair the damage. But he wants to repair it; he wants Remus to trust him implicitly so he holds out his hand to him. "I'll unbreakably vow it."

Remus' eyes narrow. "You do know that if you break it, you'll die, right?"

He doesn't pull back his hand. "I'm well aware of that. But it'll get you to trust me again, won't it?" he questions. When Remus doesn't reply, he continues on. "I will do anything to get your trust back, Remus. If it takes making an Unbreakable Vow with you, so be it."

Sirius' hand never moves from the air, as Remus just stares at it. Sirius can tell by the look on his face that he's deciding whether or not to take Sirius' offer. After a few moments of silence, Remus moves closer to Sirius, wrapping his arms around his waist. It's awkward because both of them are still sitting, but Sirius automatically pulls Remus closer.

Against his chest, Sirius feels Remus whisper, "You're forgiven." Happiness washes over Sirius. He's been waiting sixty-eight days to hear those words, and forgiveness has never felt better. They stay there until the stars start to fade.

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_It never forgives the dreamer_

Remus stands along the shoreline of the Black Lake. Rain is falling around him, but he just casts a spell to repel the water and continues to watch the waves roughly fall against the ground. Tomorrow is graduation; tomorrow his best friends' lives will change; tomorrow they will spread their wings and fly.

But tomorrow is the end of his life. He is grateful that Professor Dumbledore allowed him entry into the school six years ago, but he knows that education was just a waste of his time, a distraction to harsh reality. No one in the Wizarding world will hire him because he's a registered werewolf.

He's so wrapped up in his thoughts that he doesn't hear footsteps approaching him. He tenses as arms wrap around his waist and a head comes to rest against his shoulders. "So this is where you went." As he hears Sirius' voice, he relaxes and sinks into the embrace. He didn't realize how cold the rain had made him until he stutters against the warmth that Sirius is producing. "What are you doing out here?" he asks, his breath tickling Remus' ear.

Remus is silent for a while. "What are we going to do after this?" He closes his eyes and all the fears of the future hit him full-force.

Unwrapping himself, Sirius turns Remus around, forcing him to meet his gray eyes. "What we always planned," he answers easily. "James and I are going to join the fighting and Lily's going to go through medical training. You are going to get a job wherever you want because we all know that you've passed all your N.E.W.T.S with Outstandings. And we're going to be just fine."

Closing his eyes, Remus lets himself dream of that world, lets himself believe every word that's tumbling out of his boyfriend's mouth. It's the same world he's been letting himself believe in since he learned he was going to attend Hogwarts – a world without werewolf prejudices. But he's been forced into reality by graduation.

"It's not that simple, Siri," he whispers back. He turns away from Sirius, facing the Black Lake once more. "Even with my grades, I won't be able to find a job unless it's in the Muggle world." Before Sirius can protest, he continues on. "Not everyone are like you and James and Peter. People are scared of what I am. They don't hire monsters, and that's just a fact."

Sirius moves beside him, taking his scarred hand in his own. "You are _not_ a monster, Remus. You are kind and loyal and clever. They are just scared of things they can't control. All we have to do is show them that werewolves are nothing to be afraid of."

Remus smiles at Sirius. "I love you," he says because he knows there is nothing he can say to convince Sirius of the truth of world. But Remus knows that reality is a cruel mistress, and Sirius will one day find that out. For now, they just stand together, and watch the sun rise on the last day before reality hits.

**A/n – so many thanks to my beautiful Laura for beta-ing this for me. It wouldn't be half as good without her. Also, thanks to Allie for letting me bounce ideas off her until this one hit me in the face.**


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